A little girl on the beach and non-attachment

I think non-attachment gets badly misinterpreted and misused in this world of self-improvement and spirituality.  It sort of makes me cross, I may even be attached to the feelings I have about what people make of non-attachment!

For me, the thought of not-caring for people and things, staying distant and not getting involved that is sometimes interpreted as ‘non-attachment’ is totally abhorrent.I’m all about diving deeply – into experiences, into landscapes, into relationships and into projects and creations.

Bik flying a kiteYesterday Bik and I were blowing giant bubbles on the beach, and flying our rainbow kite.

As often happens, Bik had his pied-piper effect which works on animals and children alike – without doing anything at all, it seems, he is soon surrounded by little ones – human or otherwise.A group of children started chasing the bubbles down the beach and then coming back to get more of the bubble-hunting game.

Bik happily obliged, unlike so many adults he doesn’t get bored of a game after a few attempts but can keep playing for hours if left to his own devices.After the bubble-juice ran out, I got my sharpies out and started writing little love notes on pebbles, to leave along the path later for strangers to find.

A little girl who has worn out from the bubble game grabbed a sharpie and joined in.

For about 20 minutes, we sat, mostly in companionable silence, writing messages on pebbles in the sunshine.

1601198_758922434142363_1917259488371554958_nAt the end, we showed each other our pebbles, exchanged a smile and headed off on our separate ways.

For children, these encounters are quite normal – any other child is a potential instant friend, for however long the adults let you hang out, with no expectation of anything other than the moment of connection.

Now, adult relationships are different of course, and some go deeper and longer than others – I’m not for one second suggesting we all start treating each other like casual acquaintances, all of the time!

But there should be room, surely, for those moments of connection without expectation of future.  That’s what non-attachment means to me – a simple realisation, without struggling over it, that all things must change and end.

After all, we are all just visiting here for a short while before we dissolve back into the universe.  We belong to each other without owning each other, we love each other without really knowing each other, we connect without any foreknowledge of how long the connection will last.

In this fragile life, perhaps every relationship we ever have is, really, just a short moment on the beach, in the sun, writing lovenotes to the future.

Did you enjoy this post?  Please share it along and give me your thoughts in the comments section.

Ringing the Springtime Changes…… new things coming!

Springtime is the time I come out of the semi-hibernation of SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder aka ‘The Winter Blues’) and often a good time to ring the changes.

1662041_748545855180021_1918630805_nThe Bubbling Well Creativity Circle was set up last October as a space for creative minds to meet online, learn, share ideas and get resources.  It has grown steadily, changed to suit the needs of members and I’ve added quite a few new resources to it over the past six months or so.

Until now, there has been a free basic membership option, and over 200 people have joined over the winter as basic members and there are over 50 Fireside members, too!

The ‘Fireside’ membership option, gives access to all my eCourses, including new ones which come up in the year of your membership.

I’ve been delighted to see the community grow and become more active, and want to do more with it this year.

Join free!The plan is to have a monthly theme or prompt, similar to the ‘Creative Being’ prompts I did last year for my mailing list, but a little more in depth, for all members.  This will give us all a chance to work together on shared themes and ideas, spark off each other, be inspired and have more of a focus.

Each month on the first Saturday, I will release goodies to support member’s creative journeys – from video tutorials to visualisations, playbooks and playsheets, projects and prompts.

I’m really excited about this!

To reflect the value this will give all members, I am closing the free basic membership to new members effective today.

In future, all new members will need to sign up for the ‘Fireside’ option (which gives access to ALL eCourses).

Alternatively, if you sign up for any of my eCourses, you will also get lifetime basic membership along with access to the classroom for your particular eCourse (also with lifetime membership, so you can do courses time and again if you need to) and access to the monthly prompts.

This answers a need I have had for more follow-up with people who do my eCourses, too, by giving you a continued community and new ideas and resources each month.

Now, let me answer some questions you may have:

1) Current basic members – as promised, your membership will always be free and so will not be affected and is yours as long as you are active in the community!  If a basic member who joined when it was free is inactive for 6 months or more, membership may be ended if necessary (Ning charge by number of members).

Continued free membership is also my way of thanking you for joining and believing in this community when it was still new!

2) Current Fireside members will continue as usual!

3) Anyone joining any of my eCourses from now on will immediately have membership to The Bubbling Well for the lifetime of the community.

4) The Creative Being Cafe Facebook group will, effective today, only be admitting new members who are also in The Bubbling Well, but all current members will remain in the group regardless of whether they are BW members or not – I don’t want to lose anyone who joined in the early days, my Beta tribe!

 

Healing may not be what you need….

I’d like you to consider the possibility that you may not actually need healing right now.

I know.  Bonkers, right?

Everywhere you look, there are lightworkers and earth angels who have been sent here to heal us and our world.  I’m not knocking them, by the way, healers are an important part of our global community.

What troubles me is the assumption that every single one of us is on a constant healing journey.

It seems that there’s a lot of healing needs doing, and people spending a huge amount of time (and, um, money) to do it.

Maybe, though, there are more times when it’s healthier (and more fun) to accept and love ourselves just as we are, right this minute?

It’s not that I don’t think things in our world and lives could be better, certainly for the many people who every day tell me they’re not creative, or special, and who can’t see their own beauty and potential.

Things could be better a lot of the time, sure…… but I’m not sure the ‘healing’ paradigm works for me as an everyday practice, and it may not be working for you, either.

Now – I am not speaking here about extreme situations like bereavement, abuse, relationship breakdown and actual physical or mental illness.  Sometimes just after a trauma, you need to do some uber self-care to allow your body and mind to heal.  I’m not knocking that.  Yay for the healing practices that get us through all that!

Nap time, up a tree!

I am also a great believer in the power of a nap!

I’m also not talking about those occasions when you need a little first-aid, a little sticking plaster in the form of cheerleading, or exercises like the ones I offer those on my mailing list.  First Aid is a good skill to learn.

What I’m not so sure about is that the healing journey should be the main focus for the whole of one’s life.  That we should always feel we need fixing and improving.

Would you still be OK with who you are if you never got any ‘better’ than you are today?

Jamie Catto asks in this great blog post:   ”What if God came into the room right now and said “You are not going to evolve or grow one more millimeter than you are today. You are not going any further than this. You wont be any more wise, free or enlightened.” Could you still love yourself 100% fully?”

Well, could you?

Because if you can’t love yourself as you are right now, no amount of healing is going to fix that.

The over-focus on how much healing is needed is also, if you think about it, a focus on what’s wrong.  A focus on what’s broken and diseased.

Let’s try something for a minute.

Beauty is all around us

How unlikely and wonderful it is to be here, under this sky, with all this beauty!

Focus on how brilliant it is to be alive at all.  The odds are not great on your exact collection of genes all clustering together to make you, or the exact conditions being there for the ecosystem we live in.

Life is fragile and miraculous, and I don’t mean in a supernatural-entity-designed-and-is-running-it-all way, either.  You, and your life, and everyone you love, are delightfully improbable – and yet here we all are, together on this wonderful green and blue starship!

Now, accept that life never is and was never meant to be ‘perfect’.

Perfection isn’t in the small print of life, anywhere (actually, I never did get the Terms of Service – did you?).

To expect it is to court a lifelong sense of incompleteness – and I don’t know about you, but I’m not up for that, not one bit.

Life, the world, other people and YOU are not meant to be perfect.  We’re part of a living system, adapting and evolving every moment.

I believe that what you and I (and our planet) needs to cultivate is RESILIENCE.

That’s why I am so passionate about creativity.  Creativity brings with it the gift of resilience, the ability to make the very best of something, the ability to adapt, re-write the story and overcome the odds.

Yes, creativity can be healing, too, at those times when healing is needed.

The focus on continual self-improvement has a couple of serious hazards…. here are some of them:

1) You do a bunch of self-help work, you improve yourself a lot, it’s going so well – until your ego steps in and goes ‘Wow, I am so enlightened…. aren’t I just SO MUCH better than everyone around me?’

Ego:  1  You:  Nil   – and back to square one you go!

2) You do a tonne of self improvement.  You succeed, but then one day you really slip up and let yourself down, and you beat yourself up about it so badly you can’t get back up.

3) You get so hooked on the idea self improvement you buy book after book, eCourse after eCourse, go on any number of weekend rebirthing workshops…. but never actually do the work.

Your bank account takes a pounding, and every new product promises to be ‘the one’.

So, instead of healing, how about a little resilience?  A little acceptance, a little humour at the gorgeous imperfection of your life?  A little creative reaction to the things that are ‘wrong’ and a truckload of generous, overwhelming self-love?

Who’s with me?

How do you feel about the subject of healing and self improvement?  Share your thoughts in the comments!

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