Kindness as strength

One thing that could change everything:

Treat the people who are kind to you with respect.

We’re too good at taking advantage of kind people and behaving more honourably towards those who bully and intimidate us. We punish people for being kind and gentle.

Let’s tear that down, shall we?

Let’s nurture kindness and let it grow.

I’m in a process of ongoing dismantling of my own poor treatment of gentler humans, and of finding a way to be strong and kind at the same time. I am nowhere near discovering how to do that, in fact I am right now at the stage where I am just painfully aware of where this isn’t working for me in my life, my work and my relationships. It feels like it is worth doing the work to move through this and find another way, though.

I’m not about to stop caring about people and behaving compassionately, so I need to find a way to be that way without projecting weakness.

We don’t have enough role models of gentle leaders. We need those.

The personal and the public

Activists and spiritual people: take note of how leaders behave in personal relationships.

Folks who habitually use and abuse those close to them, people who don’t value the love others give them, people who don’t respect those who love them aren’t going to be socially conscious or spiritually aware people, no matter how they appear so.

People who behave in radically differently in private to their public image are false – no exceptions.

Close relationships and love hold vast potential for cruelty and are a brilliant indicator of true character.

Before you believe somebody is amazing, check how happy their partner, kid or closest friend is!

I’m not talking about ‘rough patches’ here, or ‘imperfect’ families, but sustained lack of care and compassion from a person for close friends, lovers and family. Especially if they aren’t doing any work to correct the problem. I’ll briefly mention that outwardly ‘ideal’ relationships and families are also a red flag. Look for loving, yet messy, real life stuff!

If somebody is a spiritual or community leader and their personal relationships are abused or neglected, then it is very likely they have chosen these fields for recognition, unquestioned power, access to vulnerable people, work addiction or as a smokescreen – or all or more than one of these reasons.

Whether a person is a good partner, a good friend, a good parent, a good sibling etc *matters*.

It tells you about their larger character and their motivations for the Work.

Patriarchy has created a lie of private and personal life being separate, mainly so that men could still feel they were good people, even as they sucked the life out of their wives, mothers, sisters and their women friends and relations.

Let’s start to challenge that lie.

Ostara / Spring Equinox celebration

Ostara ritual at Cutthorn mound – with intention flag making. I host celebrations of the seasonal festivals in Southampton and this one was for Ostara or the Spring Equinox.

I always love to include a little crafty activity in my rituals, so this time we made intention flags, as Spring Equinox is associated with air. We each drew and wrote our intentions for the coming growing seasons on little flags and then tied them to a nice long bamboo from my garden. Lack of wind meant I had to run a few laps around the circle to get the full effect of the flags flying in the breeze!

The flags are now up in my garden where I can see them each morning from my bedroom window and add my energy and focus to the intentions.

If you want invitations to future gatherings (all accessible by public transport in Southampton) please do request to join the group here.

Membership is for people based in and around Southampton only as the idea is to meet in real life, not just on Facebook.