Healing may not be what you need….

I’d like you to consider the possibility that you may not actually need healing right now.

I know.  Bonkers, right?

Everywhere you look, there are lightworkers and earth angels who have been sent here to heal us and our world.  I’m not knocking them, by the way, healers are an important part of our global community.

What troubles me is the assumption that every single one of us is on a constant healing journey.

It seems that there’s a lot of healing needs doing, and people spending a huge amount of time (and, um, money) to do it.

Maybe, though, there are more times when it’s healthier (and more fun) to accept and love ourselves just as we are, right this minute?

It’s not that I don’t think things in our world and lives could be better, certainly for the many people who every day tell me they’re not creative, or special, and who can’t see their own beauty and potential.

Things could be better a lot of the time, sure…… but I’m not sure the ‘healing’ paradigm works for me as an everyday practice, and it may not be working for you, either.

Now – I am not speaking here about extreme situations like bereavement, abuse, relationship breakdown and actual physical or mental illness.  Sometimes just after a trauma, you need to do some uber self-care to allow your body and mind to heal.  I’m not knocking that.  Yay for the healing practices that get us through all that!

Nap time, up a tree!

I am also a great believer in the power of a nap!

I’m also not talking about those occasions when you need a little first-aid, a little sticking plaster in the form of cheerleading, or exercises like the ones I offer those on my mailing list.  First Aid is a good skill to learn.

What I’m not so sure about is that the healing journey should be the main focus for the whole of one’s life.  That we should always feel we need fixing and improving.

Would you still be OK with who you are if you never got any ‘better’ than you are today?

Jamie Catto asks in this great blog post:   “What if God came into the room right now and said “You are not going to evolve or grow one more millimeter than you are today. You are not going any further than this. You wont be any more wise, free or enlightened.” Could you still love yourself 100% fully?”

Well, could you?

Because if you can’t love yourself as you are right now, no amount of healing is going to fix that.

The over-focus on how much healing is needed is also, if you think about it, a focus on what’s wrong.  A focus on what’s broken and diseased.

Let’s try something for a minute.

Beauty is all around us

How unlikely and wonderful it is to be here, under this sky, with all this beauty!

Focus on how brilliant it is to be alive at all.  The odds are not great on your exact collection of genes all clustering together to make you, or the exact conditions being there for the ecosystem we live in.

Life is fragile and miraculous, and I don’t mean in a supernatural-entity-designed-and-is-running-it-all way, either.  You, and your life, and everyone you love, are delightfully improbable – and yet here we all are, together on this wonderful green and blue starship!

Now, accept that life never is and was never meant to be ‘perfect’.

Perfection isn’t in the small print of life, anywhere (actually, I never did get the Terms of Service – did you?).

To expect it is to court a lifelong sense of incompleteness – and I don’t know about you, but I’m not up for that, not one bit.

Life, the world, other people and YOU are not meant to be perfect.  We’re part of a living system, adapting and evolving every moment.

I believe that what you and I (and our planet) needs to cultivate is RESILIENCE.

That’s why I am so passionate about creativity.  Creativity brings with it the gift of resilience, the ability to make the very best of something, the ability to adapt, re-write the story and overcome the odds.

Yes, creativity can be healing, too, at those times when healing is needed.

The focus on continual self-improvement has a couple of serious hazards…. here are some of them:

1) You do a bunch of self-help work, you improve yourself a lot, it’s going so well – until your ego steps in and goes ‘Wow, I am so enlightened…. aren’t I just SO MUCH better than everyone around me?’

Ego:  1  You:  Nil   – and back to square one you go!

2) You do a tonne of self improvement.  You succeed, but then one day you really slip up and let yourself down, and you beat yourself up about it so badly you can’t get back up.

3) You get so hooked on the idea self improvement you buy book after book, eCourse after eCourse, go on any number of weekend rebirthing workshops…. but never actually do the work.

Your bank account takes a pounding, and every new product promises to be ‘the one’.

So, instead of healing, how about a little resilience?  A little acceptance, a little humour at the gorgeous imperfection of your life?  A little creative reaction to the things that are ‘wrong’ and a truckload of generous, overwhelming self-love?

Who’s with me?

How do you feel about the subject of healing and self improvement?  Share your thoughts in the comments!

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Comments

Healing may not be what you need…. — 5 Comments

  1. Jani,
    I love your point about loving yourself Just As You Are Right Now and being satisfied. It’s what I call Appreciation for Who You Are which is a huge focus in my e-course, so I totally get you. Yes, resilience is key; I think we don’t give ourselves near enough credit for what we do handle every day. Taking time to refresh is one of those healing aspects to life that I encourage so much but it also sets us up to be more resilient because we’re taking that time to take care of ourselves, which is essentially part of that vital appreciation we all need to feel for ourselves, flaws and all.

    Thanks for your pov on this issue.

    Be refreshed,
    Dawn Herring

  2. Ooooooohhh hoo hoo hooo YES! I said just this the other day, how I used to be so judgemental of others because I was always expecting more of myself! And when you don’t love yourself as you are, flaws and all, then you can never progress. Now I don’t mean, ok I am happy just as I am forever so I will never try and do anything new, because that would be boring! But once I accepted that ok, I’m never going to be great at maths, or have perfect grammar, or be able (I don’t want to!!) to run 10 marathons back to back, I was able to push myself to achieve more attainable goals that actually suited ME as my best self, not someone I thought I should be to impress others. And I’ve gotta say, I am the happiest I have ever been in my life now, only took 30 years to realise… hehehe

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