Maiden, Mother, Crone – The missing stage for a ‘not mother’

I love the imagery of womanhood, and the stages we move through.

One problem, has always been the stages seemed to be missing where I am now.

Maiden, Mother, Crone.

10377241_854662317881806_6940995063644313092_nI skipped Mother, in the literal sense, opting not to have children (yes, I know you can mother other things like art, projects….. I know!) and have felt a little in limbo for, well, most of my adult life.  I didn’t still feel like a Maiden, at age 42, and nowhere near wise and gorgeous enough to claim ‘Crone’ – so where was I in this cycle?

I felt a little out of the loop, so to speak.

The Mother archetype has never truly resonated with me, at any stage.  I respect and love this archetype, but it is not really who I am.  Not as a literal role, and not as a symbolic one, either.

Some women aren’t mothers, and it felt like we not-mothers didn’t have a name other than defined by what we are NOT.

Not-Mothers are women like me who have never had children and don’t plan to, and there are Also-Mothers, too, women who have already raised their children and. although still Mothers, are embracing another primary role in life that isn’t Mother, but certainly isn’t Crone either!

I love working with other women in this stage, a stage where we are defined by our minds, creativity and characters, more than our bodies, reproductive abilities, nurturing of others, or sexuality.

There is a lot of power and possibility in this stage, but I didn’t have a name for it.

I accidentally stumbled across this missing stage in a forum I’m part of not so long ago.  A stage not defined by the body but by the mind and creativity, a stage between Motherhood and Cronedom.  

A stage I think I went straight to on the rocky road from Maiden, bypassing ‘Mother’ with a respectful nod.


You can imagine my delight at finding this stage, given that I’m passionate about living an Enchanted Life, after all!


That word sings to a deep part of me.

A catcher of creativity, spinner of mystery and weaver of connection.

A maker of the real from the imagined.

A transformer, a conjurer of light and love and glittery possibility.

That’s me.  Maybe it’s you, too?



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Maiden, Mother, Crone – The missing stage for a ‘not mother’ — 6 Comments

  1. I love this stage of womanhood. I too connect with this stage. Enchantress weaving magic and making connections it’s a wonderful stage to be in.

  2. Thank you so much for sharing this with us. It’s a subject I’ve given occasional thought to myself, especially the closer I get to 30 (I’m 29 this summer), and I have also decided to not have children. It’s just not for me. This will give me something extra to think about now. 🙂

  3. This is perfect! Enchantress! I love it!

    Even though I am a mother, I don’t identify solely with “mother” as the entire picture of who I am. Especially now that I’m 47 divorced mom with one kid in college and the other a teenager. Although even when they were young, mother was never my only role.

    Enchantress is perfect, now that I have begun a journey to figure out who I am and what I want to do with my life and what it is I really love and how to express myself accordingly.

    Finally a label I can work with!