Just a little note and not my usual boing, boing, glitterbombing either! Brace yourself!
We all have fears around our creative dreams, and one of them is this. That you will dream, get excited, plan, tell people and almost taste the outcome you dream of.
Then, you will lose it – and it will feel awful.
Right now, a cherished dream of mine is looking to be on extremely shaky ground, after seeming to be on track for two years. It does feel awful. I’m letting the disappointment sink in after spending all day trying to be chipper about it.
I’m not chipper. I’ve got that sinking feeling in my chest and can’t seem to turn the corners of my mouth up right now, which is an odd feeling for me because I like to smile. A lot.
But, the reason I’m writing this note has nothing to do with the low spot I’m in – I never stay in these for long and I don’t need sympathy, advice or anything like that, please.
I’m comfortable with how I feel right now, am giving myself some nurturing and colouring my hair pink and blue because colour always helps! Tomorrow, I will wake to a new day and there’ll be glitter flying around once more. You can’t keep a good glitterbomber down for long, you know.
I’m writing this from the low point of a low spot, to let you all know it’s not really that bad, after all. Not bad enough by far to stop me risking exactly this amount of energy again (and again) for my dreams.
I’m not sad that I dreamt up some creative plans. I haven’t given them up, I realise they may have to take a different form and that things are likely to turn out better than I’d dreamt of. Yup, this particular idea looks to be shattered and lost. Yup, I was convinced it wouldn’t be. Yup, the reasons why are pretty unfair if I’m honest.
But the lost dream place, it’s not that scary and it’s not at all permanent. So don’t let it scare you 🙂