Social Media – I haz boundaries! 

My splendid friend Effy aka Feithline Stuart just asked a great question about what we don’t accept on social media, and what we do accept. Here’s my answer:

For me, on my own social media – negativity of all kinds are just not welcome.  I need social media to be a place of connection and learning, a safe space, that’s how I choose to use it in my life. 

I need to be able to share honestly on my own wall so for me, negativity includes judgement or criticism of my lifestyle, diet, shopping choices, habits and religious or political views as a response to one of my sharings, or on a page or group I manage.  

I will disengage on social media from people who do this and restrict my other interactions with them as I see fit. 

Attacking my friends in comments threads is also not acceptable for any reason.  

Actual trolls are instantly deleted and blocked, even if I know them in real life, even if they are customers.  I don’t engage with trolls in any way.  If I am trolled, I will also cut that person in real life, completely.  

Trolls who launch hostile public attacks on The Art House or our crew are banned for life from both the physical and virtual spaces, no appeals.  The Art House is a safe place, and trolls don’t make a space feel safe! 

If somebody publicly criticises me on their own wall, I usually just disengage from them online.  If they don’t like what I’m doing, that’s fine – I don’t need to know about it.  

I consider it rude to publicly criticise individuals on social media. 

It’s altogether too public a space and I don’t think public criticism or strong opinion sharing on somebody’s wall is OK  (unless you’re bashing a government, large institution or evil corporation which is quite different, with a different power dynamic at work). 

Criticising somebody on social media is like telling them off in front of a large crowd of strangers.  Public shaming.  Not acceptable. 

I take criticism and welcome kindly meant versions of it via email (for professional things) or in person in private or small trusted circle space.  

Sometimes pointing out a factual error in something I post can be helpful, though, but please use ze peer reviewed science or other sensible source 🙂 

Only close personal friends and family are invited to express an opinion on my life choices, and usually only when I’ve actually asked for advice or feedback.  

Honestly, I am a grown up woman and I like how I’ve turned out – I’m not looking to change or be ‘fixed’, I’m looking to grow more me-like.  

Only I really know how to do that. 

Online, I *do* welcome funnies (lots of funnies!), kindness, support, sharing of personal wisdom, sharing of own stories, ways and thoughts with a respect that mine are different, sharing glimpses of everyday life – and creative sharing, show me your ART and IDEAS! 

I like advice when I specifically ask for it, which I rarely use social media to do (see: close personal friends etc) 

I don’t expect everyone to agree with everything I post, but it’s unlikely at 42 that I am going to change a view based on what somebody on FB said.   Just sayin’ 

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