When other people’s opinions wind you up

When somebody’s opinion upsets you, consider that your upset may be more about a discomfort triggered in you that anything to do with them. 

Getting our BS called out can be triggering! Having our firmly held ideas questioned can freak us out!

Be careful of making it all about the other person’s view and ‘how they made you feel’ – all they’ve done is speak their truth. It’s not about you.

If it feels like it is about you, take a pause to explore why that is. 

There’s some interesting stuff in that pause, if you have the courage to face it.

Most of all, be very careful about scolding somebody for expressing their reality.

Not only does this rarely change their mind, it can damage intimacy, community and connection beyond repair when you try to silence people.

Think about why you have to tell somebody you disagree with them. Are you motivated by a need to control them? Is it kind? Do they really need to know? Is it vital to their happiness that you educate them about your views or are you just letting your ego out to cause havoc?

Let them do them, and you do you. 

Next time you see or hear an opinion that triggers you – don’t make it about the person who shared it.

Make it about you instead. Take care of you.

Explore your reactions. Learn. Grow.

If this post made you go ‘no but I must tell her how she’s wrong’ – have a little inner conversation about it right now. Stop thinking about me for five minutes and really dive into how you feel. Let me know how it goes.

* Needless to say – but I will say it anyway – I am not talking here about hate speech or ‘expression of opinions’ which harass or oppress vulnerable folks – just, you know, people’s opinions which they share and which make you want to shout at them about how they are wrong.

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