I promised updates on the health kick.
I had a couple of choices.
Go quiet till I was back on track with running, or fib, or come clean.
I haven’t run since the first week, and am now two weeks behind.
We’ve had a heatwave, but friends of mine are still running, in the heat, so it’s not really a legitimate excuse.
What happened was that, feeling tired and hot, making my body pound around the park when my brain wasn’t enjoying it either just felt – violent, toward myself.
I thought ‘if I was a close friend, would I be cracking the whip right now to run, or would I just say – let’s go for a nice walk under those trees, dear!’.
Maybe I should be harder on myself (and my friends!) but I don’t want to turn into my old PE teacher.
She was evil. She yelled. She put me off sports, watching and doing, with her yelling!
So, I’m back to finding a way to do this running thing, because I really want to do it. I know that this early bit when it feels so hard won’t last, and I know how good I’ll feel when I can run the 3 miles I promised myself I’d do.
What would I tell myself, if I was my best friend?
I’d say going off track now doesn’t have to mean staying off track.
I’d say ‘let’s find a way to make this work for you, a way that doesn’t bring PE class flashbacks’.
I’d say ‘You can do this’ and I’d say ‘It’s OK to mess up when you’re trying a new thing. It’s OK to go right back to the start, as many times as you need to, as long as you don’t give up’.
So, I’m being my best friend. I’m giving myself chances – and I’m not giving up!
In the meantime, I’m enjoying lots of long walks, swims and dancing to make sure my body gets to move – and loving the more healthy eating, and sleep!